HARDCORE SOFT LAGER.

No Brainer represents the things we all love. Heavy drinking, punk attitude and not having a headache. Sounds good, right?
Simply put "the best drink we could come up with".

NO BRAINER FOR EVERYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

great taste

Our unbiased test subjects loved the distinctive No Brainer taste.
"It tastes great and really helps when you're thirsty."
(Thanks for your wisdom Mom)

no alcohol

Alcohol can be fun but it can be a bad time as well. We love beer but it can make you a naughty girl or boy and turns your next day into a nightmare. So let's skip that shit.

No sugar, lots of electrolytes

Sugar. Pure evil. We like evil shit but this stuff is really nasty. Absolutely horrific! So we eliminated that trash. However we kept the great isotonic power of beer!
Ah and no salt either.

Swiss brewing tradition

Designed, brewed and bottled in Switzerland, the most punk place in the world. Best quality ingredients to ensure you only get the best when you enjoy your No Brainers.

JOIN THE CULT!

TRUST US, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING

"INSERT YOUR MINDLESS MARKETING QUOTE HERE"

HELLO HELL-RAISERS

WTF

BUY OUR SHIT!

NO BRAINER TOUR

MMM BEER

NON-ALCOHOLIC RULES!

No Brainer Tour 2022

  • Blok Bar Luzern, Löwengraben 16, Luzern
  • Plop up, Grabenstrasse 8, Luzern
  • Alfred Caffebar, Bleicherstrasse 1, Luzern
  • Nix's in der Laterne, Reusssteg 9, Luzern
  • Musikzentrum Sedel, Sedelhof 2, Luzern
  • Portofino, Töpferstrasse 5, Luzern
  • Jelmoli Food Market, Seidengasse 1, Zürich
  • Bistro Krienbrüggli, Burgerstrasse 8, Luzern

  • Storchen Weinbar, Kornmarkt 9, Luzern
  • Glou Glou, Waldstätterstrasse 7, Luzern
  • Chocherei, Riedholzstrasse 9, Ebikon
  • Area 43 Tattoos & Piercings, Habsburgerstrasse 37, Luzern
  • Become our next Tour Stop

HARDOCRE SOFT LAGER

TRUST US WE'RE NOT EXPERTS

GABBA GABBA HEY!

NYHC

HELP US REACH WORLD DOMINATION

BUY OUR SHIT!

SCARE YOUR FRIENDS WITH NON ALCOHOLIC BEER

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

WELCOME HELL-RAISERS

PRODUCTS

CHF 39.60 CHF

Product

NO BRAINER non-alcoholic beer

Quantity

12 bottles, 33cl

PEOPLE LOVE US!

You get what you get.

We love our friends on the internet who always have the best input for No Brainer.

@AndrewAngry

Happy Customer

I expected to have a decent beer but there was no alcohol in it! F***ing waste of money for not even getting drunk

Rated 1/5

@SelinaUnsatisfied

Happy Customer

Terrible design! I would be scared to have something so inappropriate in my fridge. Imagine if the kids find it!

Rated 1/5

@notHeineken

Happy Customer

I am in now way related to a big brewery but I think that there is much better non-alcoholic beer on the market that doesn't use skulls and brains to try to appear cool...

Rated 2/5

@nobrainer.wtf

Happy Customer

Please send us your feedback! We really don't care about what you're saying and everything will go into an email account we never check.

Rated 5/5

NEVER MIND THE HEADACHE

Cheers to No Brainer

JOIN THE CULT!

TRUST US, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING

"INSERT YOUR MINDLESS MARKETING QUOTE HERE"

HELLO HELL-RAISERS

WTF

BUY OUR SHIT!

NO BRAINER TOUR

MMM BEER

NON-ALCOHOLIC RULES!